Rewards
by Henordra
Summary: The Order, mainly Harry, has defeated Voldemort. The cost of the war was great. Sirius is dead, Remus is still in mourning and feeling lost. What if the Greater Powers decreed that those that made great sacrifices should be rewarded? Slash SBRL
1. Alone

Story contains SLASH (SB/RL) and a dose of JP/LP. Mentions of depression and character considering suicide.

Due to the physics Quantum Theory that everything can exist in multiple states at the same time I must conclude that the Harry Potter characters all belong to me. Hmm, or am I just being optimistic?

The Order, mainly Harry, has defeated Voldemort. The cost of the war was great. Sirius is dead, Remus is still in mourning and has nowhere to call home. What if the Greater Powers decreed that those that made great sacrifices should be rewarded?

Prologue

Remus' POV

So, finally this was the end of the War. Voldemort has fallen and we have prevailed.

Did I sound bitter? I don't mean to, but it is hard. I am truly happy that Harry has survived.

I am so tired.

I have done what Sirius and James would have wanted. I kept going. I helped Harry and I didn't give up.

God, I miss them. James, Lily and Sirius, now I look back they are the only true friends I have ever had.

Note that I have struck Peter off of that list.

Yes, I know Harry and the other members of the Order are my friends, but it isn't the same. Do you understand? Perhaps you do. I don't know.

Does it help if I tell you that Sirius was my Mate, and that Werewolves mate for life?

Sorry, did I not say I was a werewolf? I am so tired it slips my mind sometimes.

Yes, Sirius was my Mate and James and Lily my extended pack. James because he joined me as Prongs and Lily by default as she, to Moony's understanding of things, was Prong's Mate.

I have no pack now. I have the wolfsbane, which helps keep me sane, but cannot fight the loneliness.

Now I feel exceedingly useless. During the War I could convince myself that I was helping. Making a difference. Now, well, now I am not sure.

Harry has left the Dursleys, with Voldemort dead he no longer needs to stay in a house with someone with his mother's blood. Lily's blood.

God, I think I am going to cry again.

I would give him a home in an instant, if I had one to give. I have been staying at Order Headquarters since, well, it seems like forever. I do not think Harry will want to move in here. Hell, I don't want to be here.

I suspect the Weasleys will take him in. I hope so. He deserves to have a proper home. I shudder to think of everything he has gone through.

He says that having me around helps, that it is nice to have a connection to his parents, and to Sirius I suppose. I smile at his thanks and tell him he is welcome.

I really just want to curl up in a corner and cry. I am not normally one to wallow in self-pity, but you have caught me at a bad time. The full moon was two days ago, so I am weak, lonely, tired, in mourning and stupidly frustrated at everyone else for celebrating.

What is there to celebrate?

Oh, sure, the world is once again safe from the evil forces of Voldemort. What does that mean if the other Marauders are not here?

God, I'm so self involved! I am so sorry. Like I said, I am having a bad day, or week, or maybe year. Well, ok, my life sucks. Are you happy now?

I might just leave it a few months, to make sure Harry is truly ok. Then I will slip away quietly. Slowly, of course, to not raise any alarm. Then I will be free to rejoin my Mate. My Sirius.

Author note:

This will continue. I have it all mapped out in my head, but any help is good. You can review using the button below or contact me via e-mail using the link on my profile page.

Thanks for reading.


	2. Noticing The Problem

Remus' POV

I think Harry is starting to notice that something is wrong. I can't be sure, but the looks he gives me… I think he knows. I have to be more careful, I don't want to worry him.

I suspect that he realises that I have never recovered after Sirius' death, but I don't think he has guessed the whole truth. Hermione might have, she is perceptive. I doubt Ron even realises I am depressed, unless the others have told him.

I just want to return to my Mate. I have heard that you are reunited with everyone you love when you die… I cannot go on like this for much longer. I hope that James and Sirius and Lily understand.

But, wasn't it them who always told me not to try so hard? They said that sometimes you just have to let it go and that sometimes there is nothing more you can do.

I will cope for a while longer. For Harry's sake.

Third Person POV

"Guys?" Harry lay on his bed in Ron's room at the Burrow staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah?" Ron grunted from the floor where he was trying to figure out how to work Harry's Game Boy.

"I think something is wrong with Remus…" they had finally managed to break themselves of the habit of calling him Professor Lupin.

Hermione rolled her eyes,

"Well, obviously," she agreed. "He is in a deep state of mourning, anyone should be able to see that."

"He is?" Ron looked up, baffled.

"For Sirius?" Harry ignored his best friend.

Hermione nodded.

"Not to sound harsh," Ron raised his eyebrows, "but Sirius died, like, nearly four years ago. Shouldn't he be over it by now?"

Hermione jumped to her feet,

"You are just so insensitive!" she snapped and stormed out.

Ron turned to Harry for support,

"You agree with me, right? Remus should have moved on by now…"

Harry shrugged,

"Perhaps, but I am sure something is wrong."

Later

They came down for lunch a few hours later only to find that the subject of their earlier discussion had arrived.

Harry beamed,

"Remus! Why didn't you say you had arrived?"

Remus smiled pleasantly, though Harry fancied his eyes looked more tired than usual,

"I have only just arrived," Remus explained, "I though I would wait until lunch to say hi."

Harry grinned back,

"It's good to see you, Remus. We don't see as much of you now the Order has disbanded again…"

Remus nodded,

"I have been busy. Sorry about that."

Harry shook his head,

"That's ok, just don't disappear on me, ok?" he was grinning at the time, but his grin slipped a little when he saw Remus flinch. "Are you ok, Remus?" he asked.

Remus nodded slowly,

"I'm fine."

Later

After lunch the boys managed to convince Hermione to come and talk to them again.

"I'm really worried now," Harry admitted, "I think Remus is planning on slipping away."

Hermione nodded,

"He is depressed and he can't move on. Think about what has happened to him over his life, I won't bother listing it to you, he has every right to feel bad."

"Ok," Ron held up his hands, "Hermione, we fully admit that we really don't understand, and that you, as a girl with vastly superior intellect, are far more up to speed. Would you pretty please consider enlightening us humble mortals?"

Hermione blushed but nodded,

"Well, the way I see it Remus has never recovered from Sirius' death for a very simple reason. I think, and this is guess work, that Sirius was Remus' Mate."

The to boys just stared at her, waiting for her to continue.

"Err, Hermione," Ron glanced at Harry, "even _we _managed to figure out that they were friends…"

"No!" she rolled her eyes, "not as in mates. Sirius was Remus' _Mate_, as in canine life partner."

"As in kissing and sex?" Ron raised his eyebrows.

Harry snorted at Ron's bluntness.

"Yes," she agreed, rolling her eyes once more, "as in _kissing and sex_."

"That would explain it," Harry agreed. "Werewolves mate for life, so Remus wouldn't be able to move on."

Hermione smiled, pleased that Harry remembered _something_ from school,

"I did some reading on the subject," she continued; "to see if there was anything I could do to help. All the references I found spoke of the werewolf left behind falling into a deep depression and normally dying themselves a few moons later. The only exception I could find was one female who survived her Mate by six years. It was suggested that this was because she had children to take care of… She put the need of her 'pack' before her need for her Mate."

"So Remus and Sirius are, err, were gay?" Ron was a little behind.

"So Remus is still alive because of me?" the others continued to ignore Ron.

"I think so," Hermione looked thoughtful. "To Moony you are the cub of a member of his pack, he will want to protect you."

"That would be why they shared a room…" Ron continued.

"But, that means if Moony decides I no longer need protecting…"

"That's right. If he thinks you are ok on your own he will follow his Mate into death."

"We share a room, Ron," Harry added absently.

"Oh, yeah…"

"Is there anyway we can help him?"

"I don't think so," she shook her head sadly. "A werewolf is devoted to their chosen Mate, short of bringing Sirius back from the dead…"

Remus' POV

They know.

As I was leaving the Burrow I noticed a change in how Harry hugged me goodbye. He looked suddenly sad and understanding. I managed a weak smile but had to leave. I couldn't stand to be around so many happy people anymore.

I returned to Grimmauld Place. I live there now. The Order agreed that nobody else would ever be using it, so I might as well.

I live alone, of course. Kreacher died not long after my Mate. An unfortunate accident where I forgot to take my wolfsbane… Forgive me, I was in a very bad way at the time.

Now I lie on our bed, well, my bed now that my Mate is gone. I spend a lot of time just laying down flicking through old photo albums of us back at school. I find it strangely comforting to look at the smiling faces of my pack.

It helps me to remember it was not all a dream.

Perhaps it would be better if it had been. If it was only a dream I could return to them every night, and move on during the day. As it is… well, I mourn them, every second of every day. At night... at night I see the veil...

Not for much longer.

I never told Harry that I wouldn't just leave. The fact he doesn't want me to is nothing to me anymore.

I have had enough of this world. The world is nothing to me without my pack.

Author notes:

Thanks to my reviewers, i didn't expect feedback so quickly. Don't worry, Harry will be trying to help Remus.

P.S If anybody notices any typos or general errors please tell me so I can correct them. Thanks, :)


	3. Two Months

Author notes:

Heh heh, reviews... you like it! I am surprised. Anyway, if you like angst that is good, as things won't get much better for poor Remus for a while... Thanks again for the lovely feedback.

Remus' POV

It has just occurred to me that I haven't spoken to anyone or even left this room for four days. I would probably stay longer but I am starting to feel hungry.

I know what you are thinking, if I want to die so much why am I worrying about eating? The simple truth is that I do not want to die here. I don't want to die in a place which my Mate has so many bad memories.

I think that, when the time comes, I will go to the Forest at Hogwarts. We had good times there.

That is Hedwig… Harry must have written to me. Excuse me, I'll be back in just a moment.

He wants to know how I am, and why I haven't visited. I am not sure if I should reply.

I won't, I cannot think of anything to say right now. Anything I say will be a lie anyway.

I hate lying to people. I always have. That is why it ate at me that I betrayed Dumbledore. It wasn't just that we were doing something illegal, it was that he trusted me and I lied.

Well, in truth I guess I didn't lie. The subject just didn't come up.

Later

There is a knocking, make that hammering, at the door. Harry has come to see me. I guess he is worried, he probably thinks I am dead or injuring myself in some way.

I make my way to the door and open it slowly. I am grateful that someone had the bright idea that if we couldn't get Mrs Black off of the wall we could at least burn it down. In the same way she burned her son's name from the family tree we burned her from the wall. I am sorry, but I felt that was a deserved fate.

Yes, it is Harry. He looks awful, though I guess I do not look any better. I stand in the doorway blinking owlishly as the sun hits my eyes. Hermione and Ron are with him, they look worried and rather like they feel they are intruding.

Bother, I have forgotten to smile. I wonder if it is too late. I try a smile,

"Harry," I great him, "Hermione, Ron, what are the three of you doing here?"

Harry is looking at me strangely,

"Why did you take so long opening the door?" he asks quietly.

"I was sleeping." That is the truth; I was sleeping.

"It's mid-day," Ron looks confused.

I shrug lightly, trying not to show my surprise,

"I am a night owl."

Ron nods slowly, but doesn't look like he believes me.

"Remus," Harry begins, "do you want to talk?"

"About what?" I play dumb.

"Sirius," he replies bluntly.

I wince at the name,

"I'm not sure I do," I tell him. I let the smile drop. I don't have enough energy to protect him anymore.

"I think you should," he presses on.

"And I think I shouldn't," I tell him. "Harry, I'm tired. I'm going back to bed."

"No, you're not," he tells me.

I blink, and start to close the door on them. His hand shoots out to stop the motion. I growl suddenly and release the door.

"Fine, come in," I snap, "see if I care."

"Remus, let us help you…" Hermione pleads as the three of them enter behind me.

I ignore her and stalk into the lounge. I collapse back onto a sofa and stare at my hands on my knees.

"You're so pale…" Harry sits opposite me. I don't know where the others have gone.

I look up into his eyes,

"What is your point, Harry?" I ask him directly.

"I don't think Sirius would want you to do this to yourself."

"That is none of your business," I tell him.

"I think it is," he denies.

I sigh,

"Whatever. Harry, say what you want to say then leave, please? I'm not up to this anymore."

"We can help you, if you let us…"

"YOU CANNOT HELP ME!" I scream suddenly, jumping to my feet. "You cannot bring Sirius back…"

I sink to my knees before him, my hands palm down on the floor. A ragged sob escapes me and I feel Harry wrapping his arms around me.

I don't cry. I have no tears left, all of them fell while I was alone and a long time ago. I haven't cried for years now.

My dry sobs, however, vibrate around the room. Harry is rocking me gently, not saying a word. I cling to him, suddenly needing warmth. I have been cold for so long.

I pull away and back off. Harry looks confused now.

"Remus?"

"I can't do this anymore, Harry," I tell him. "I cannot continue without my pack."

"You mean your Mate," Harry tells me.

I nod slowly,

"Yes, my Mate. If you understand that, Harry, you must understand that I cannot stay."

Harry glares at me,

"Don't be the fourth parent to leave me!" he snaps, then looks scared, "Please, Remus?"

I wince. His parent. God, he thinks of me as a parent…

"Harry, I'm sorry, but…" I pause. "The pain… Harry, you don't understand."

"So talk to me!" he begs.

"I can't," I look into his eyes again. "Harry, I'm sorry but I disagree. Sirius wouldn't want me to be in this much pain. We agreed… so long ago, we agreed…"

I stop and close my eyes. We were so young when we made that promise. A promise made when Sirius found out how hard it would be for me if I out lived him. We promised that we would not put ourselves though unnecessary pain. We would follow the other into death as soon as every thing was put into order.

"We can help you," he tries again. "Give me a chance to make it right, please?"

Something in the way he said that makes me pause.

"Two months, Remus," he tells me soothingly. "Come with me to the Burrow for two months. If I can't make it right by then you can do whatever you like. Two months, please?"

I sigh, two months more. I am not sure I will last that long. Every morning it is harder to get up. Every day seems longer, and the smallest thing seems like a chore.

I nod slowly,

"For you, Harry. But only two months, please…"

He nods in understanding,

"Two months is more than I need."

Later

It turns out that the others were in the kitchen, having a drink. I am not sure what they had, as far as I know there is nothing down there. I certainly don't remember shopping for months. The last time I ate was surely the last time I saw Harry at the Burrow.

We are at the Burrow now. Was the sun always this bright?

I am so tired. I always feel tired these days.

Molly is smiling at me. I can see the pity in her eyes. I don't smile back, I don't think I have any reason to.

They are showing me to Percy's old room. He has moved out now. Ron would have done, but he is using what money he has to pay his way though further education.

I drop onto the bed exhausted. I hear a few whispers, wondering if I'll be ok. Harry is sending everyone away. Now he is helping to tuck me in.

It is only a very small comfort.

"Remus?" he murmurs.

"Hmm?" I am close to sleep now.

"Thank you for letting me try…"

I fall asleep.


	4. The Burrow

Remus POV

Ok, so now I am at the Burrow. I suppose this is better than Grimmauld… I don't have my photos though. What will I do all day without my pictures?

Sleep. That is the obvious answer. Maybe I will go to sleep and just never wake. Yes, a very good idea indeed.

I turn over in my bed to face away from the door and close my eyes.

Later

There is movement in the room. My wolf senses have dulled over the years, but I can still sense that it is Molly. I ignore her. Maybe she will go away.

A hand is shaking me gently. I growl softly.

Have they not heard that you should let a sleeping dog lie?

Ok, I am a wolf, but it is close enough.

I open my eyes slowly,

"Yes?"

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No I do not!" I snap.

"You have to eat something, Sweetie," she coos suddenly.

I spin to face her,

"We want to die," I hiss. My eyes turning more yellow as I let Moony have a bit of slack. "We have no reason left to live, so please just leave us be!"

She looks shocked, I suppose Harry just told her I was ill or something.

"Don't be foolish," she scolds briskly, "come down and have some lunch with us. It will make you feel better."

"No it will not," I grit my teeth. "My Mate is dead. There is nothing you can do to help me. I am here because Harry wants me here, that does not mean I have agreed to let myself be coddled. I just want to be left alone."

She looks scared now. I guess letting Moony fight my battles for me isn't such a good idea. I don't have the strength to reign him in. He won't hurt her, anyway. He only wants to protect us.

She nods and backs out of the room.

I sigh loudly and drop back onto the bed. I'm not so tired anymore, so I open the curtains and look out over the garden and the fields beyond. I open the window to let in the breeze and close my eyes as it tussles my hair.

Sirius would like it here, I decide. All that space for us to run in at the full moon… Yes, he would have loved it here.

The door opens slowly and I sense Harry coming in behind me.

"Yes?" I sound almost friendly.

"Molly is upset," he sounds like he wants to send me on a guilt trip.

Moony is still the one talking for us so I just snort.

"Yes, well, she should have left us alone," I tell him.

"Us?" he noticed that I see.

"Remus and Moony," I tell him. "Moony is more dominant when I haven't the strength to reign him in. The line between us is becoming fuzzy, he has more strength now."

"Oh," there isn't much else you can say to that.

I nod slowly, still looking out the window.

"I brought you some tea," he adds as he stands at my side.

I am suddenly amused,

"I have just told you that my werewolf side is dominant and you just bring me tea?"

He grins and hands me the mug.

"Thank you," I murmur as I wrap my hands around the warmth.

"You're welcome," he smiles then looks out of the window. "What were you thinking about when I came in?"

"I was thinking how Sirius would have loved it here," I told him. "So much freedom here. Nothing like Grimmauld."

Harry nods slowly,

"Are you going to ask how I know that Sirius was your Mate?"

I close my eyes. Harry doesn't know it, but James once asked me the very same question. But then, of course, Sirius was alive and James spoke in present tense. Hell, James was alive too.

For a few minutes I am locked in memories. I had been so afraid to tell them I was a werewolf, then to say I was gay and, finally, that I was in love with Sirius. Every single time they accepted me…

"I noticed something was wrong," Harry tells me, "but it was Hermione who knew why…"

I nod slowly,

"I had guessed as much."

"Do you want to talk?" he asks again.

I shake my head,

"I would like to have my photo album…" I add after a pause.

Harry hisses suddenly,

"I'm sorry, we bought it with us, Ron went to see if there was anything of yours you might want. I forgot to bring it up. I'll be right back."

He leaves me as he exits for my photos. I breathe in the tea vapour and sigh quietly.

Photos. I can't believe that all I have left of my Mate is an album of old photos. My memories, I have them too I suppose. It is getting harder to remember. I am truly getting old.

I snort quietly; I have memory problems at the age of forty. I never thought this would happen to me, though I suppose nobody ever does.

Harry enters again and brings me the album. He is looking at the front page, a group photo of James, Lily, Sirius and me. Peter took the photo. We are all grinning. We look so happy. Every so often photo-Sirius kisses photo-me on the neck, he has his arms round my waist.

I smile weakly at the memory.

I sip at my tea as Harry looks through the photos. I know I should stop him, some of the photos at the back he probably won't want to see. I don't though.

Harry reaches the first of those photos and almost drops the album. He looks up at me, rather shocked. I shrug lightly.

The photos are of Sirius and me in rather, err, compromising positions.

"Who took them?" that was the last thing I expected him to ask.

"James," I tell him honestly.

"My father took photos of you having sex?"

"No, just touching, and kissing of course," I tell him.

"Odd," is his last comment as he hands me the album.

I nod and take the album from him. He looks worried when I meet his eyes. I don't offer a smile.

"We have an idea of how to help you," he tells me, "we just need a few more details. Then we will need time to act on it."

I shrug,

"Don't worry about it, I doubt I will last that long."

"Ron found one thing that we could do now, if you wanted… but me and Hermione thought you would rather die…" he paused and looked down.

I look at him, then walk back to sit on my bed. I feel tired again.

"It was a potion," Harry tells me, "to sever the connection a werewolf has with their Mate…"

My head whips up in fear.

"…without the connection to Sirius you would get better again."

"Don't you dare…" I growl.

He holds up his hands,

"We won't, I promise. I was just telling you, so that you know we are trying."

I continue to glare at him, my muscles twitching as Moony growls inside me.

He leaves me without another word.

I put the album down on the floor and curl back up in bed. My tea is on the windowsill. I haven't the energy to get it.

Later

It is morning. I must have slept for twenty hours, assuming it was yesterday that I spoke to Harry.

The tea has gone from the windowsill, so someone must have collected it.

I sit up to find a note on my pillow. It is from Harry.

He says they are all out for the day, mainly at work but him, Ron and Hermione are shopping for some supplies to help me. He apologises for upsetting me yesterday and says Molly has left me a sandwich in the bread-bin.

I crumple up the note and toss it across the room. It bounces against the wall and drops to the floor. I watch it for a few minutes the get up, retrieve the note and put it in the bin. I feel strangely better after that and decide to venture downstairs.

I step outside and squint a little against the brightness. I vaguely notice that I am only wearing my pyjama bottoms. It doesn't really bother me, I am sure all the clothes in the world would not help me to warm up.

I walk across the garden and up to the hedge at the end. I squeeze through a gap in the hedge and into the fields beyond.

"You would have loved it here, Sirius," I tell my lover.

I imagine him agreeing with me and adding that we would have races.

"Prongs always wins our races," I tell him.

He nods, but adds that deer are only fast over short distances. He thinks we would beat Prongs on a long distance race, especially on the flat.

"We never tried long distance…" I sigh.

He shrugs and tells me we never thought that time was against us.

I agree silently and keep walking.

I head towards some trees. I am feeling sleepy again. I reach them after what feels like hours and drop down against one.

I am asleep as soon as my eyes close.


	5. Grief All Over Again

Remus' POV

I blink and open my eyes. I remember taking a walk earlier and I am still leaning against that tree. It is getting dark now.

There is someone calling my name. I can hear them shouting over by the house.

I groan and stand up slowly. I wrap my arms around my bare chest and stagger out from under the tree. I scowl towards the house, trying to remember who that voice belongs to.

Somebody is running towards me. He, I think it is a he, has scruffy black hair, glasses and green eyes. My scowl deepens.

"Remus!" he pants as he reaches me. "You scared us, what are you doing out here dressed like that?"

I stare at him, trying to remember.

"Remus?" he sounds worried now.

"James?" I hazard.

He blinks,

"No, Remus, I'm Harry. I'm James' son. Don't you remember?"

"Harry," I smile. "That's right, your name is Harry."

"Come back to the house, Remus," he encourages me.

I nod slowly and follow him back.

Third Person POV

Harry entered the dinning room after taking Remus back to bed. He dropped down into a chair and buried his head in his arms.

"Is he ok?" Hermione asked quietly.

"What do you think?" Harry snapped, then took a deep breath and looked up, "I'm sorry. I think he is calm, but he can't seem to remember very easily. I guess he is starting to go mad."

Hermione nodded sadly,

"Yes, all the information I have indicates that the werewolf goes mad with grief before dying."

"But he was, well, not fine, but he wasn't showing any signs of this! I'm sure he wasn't…" Harry looked back over the time he had spent with Remus, trying to see if anything he had done might suggest he would go down hill so suddenly.

"Harry, I'm not sure but I think Remus has been on the verge of this for a long time. He has been hiding it for years, probably since he saw Sirius fall. I'm sorry, Harry, but we might be too late…"

"Don't say that!" Harry's temper started to get the better of him.

"Mate, we don't mean we won't still try…" Ron looked to Hermione for conformation.

"Of course not," she agreed, "we go ahead as planned. I just thought you should know…"

Harry nodded slowly.

Remus' POV

Harry, yes his name is Harry Potter. He is the son of my friends James Potter and Lily Potter, previously Lily Evans. He is friends with Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger. They used to go to school at Hogwarts. Harry defeated Lord Voldemort. Harry's godfather is Sirius Black. James, Lily and Sirius are dead. Sirius was my Mate.

I remember now.

Have you any idea how scary it is to forget who you are? Or to know that you are loosing your mind?

It all came back in a rush and for the briefest moment I was delighted. I remember being happy in Sirius' arms and laughing with James. I remember the flat the three of us bought after school before James moved in with Lily.

Now I remember getting the news about James and Lily.

I remember the veil.

I have lost them all over again. I broke down and cried. Actual tears this time. I curl up on my bed and cry for my friends, who died far to young, for Harry, who is orphaned, for Sirius, who deserved better, and for myself, who continues alone.

I glance at the photo album on the floor but I don't reach for it. I can't stomach the thought of looking at myself happy right now.

Later

I sit on the edge of my bed and stare at the door. I am hungry now, I guess that a week without food tends to do that to you.

I'm going to go down to find some.

I find Harry and Ron in the kitchen. They look surprised to see me.

"Remus?" Harry let's me guess the question.

"I'm hungry," I tell him.

"Sit down," he tells me, "we'll get you something." Ron nods his agreement.

I nod and sink into a chair.

After a few minutes sandwich, an apple and a large slab of chocolate are put before me, then a mug of tea. I nod my thanks and start to pull the crust off of the sandwich, eating it slowly.

"Remus," Harry wants my attention so I lift my face to him. "Remus, do you remember who we are?"

I blink and tears appear in my eyes,

"Yes…" my voice sounds croaky, like Sirius' after Azkaban…

He nods,

"You remember everything?"

"Yes…" a tear runs down my cheek.

"Oh, Remus…" he pulls me into his arms and I sob quietly.

Later

I'm not hungry anymore, but I can't say that I feel better.

Harry, Ron and Hermione say that they are on to something. They seem to think they can make it all better.

I would love to believe that they could, because that would mean they could bring my Mate back from the dead. However, I have to be realistic. The chances are that they have found something that promises to do just that. However, it would truly bring my Mate back as a zombie or something equally terrible.

I turn the knife over in my hand, looking at the sharpness of the blade.

I sigh as I study the first picture in the album again.

"Where did it all go wrong?" I ask Sirius.

When we made friends with Peter, he tells me.

I shake my head,

"I don't believe he was always evil, Padfoot."

No, Sirius agrees, but he was always a worthless little…

At this point my imaginary Sirius starts to rant until I'm not listening to his words anymore, just his strangely comforting voice.

"You're dead, you know," I tell him, "and I'm sure hearing voices is a bad sign."

Sirius laughs and tells me not to worry so much.

"I love you," I tell him.

My mind imagines Sirius making an over-the-top declaration of his love for me. The way he used to.

I smile softly at this image and lift the knife to my wrist. I scowl as I hear something trying to attract my attention.

A faint murmuring, but I don't know where it is from.

Then suddenly,

"Moony!" Sirius' voice.

"Sirius?" the link, God, I can feel it again.

"Yes! I haven't much time Love, I am not meant to be here at all, but you know me and rules… Anyway, I want you to hang on a little longer, Love. Hermione will soon find something that will help. Hang in there, ok, Moony?"

"Padfoot?"

"Yes, it's me. Did you understand what I said?"

I nod slowly,

"How long?" I ask quietly.

"Two weeks maximum, my Love," he tells me.

The link is severed and I let out a soft whimper.

"Hearing voices…" I mutter, "I'm going insane…"

The link though, my mind reminds me, it would be hard to fully imagine that.

So, I think, if I am not insane that means I just spoke to a man who has been dead for four years.

Which sounds more likely?

Two weeks. I cannot take the chance. I must heed the message. I would to anything for my Mate.

I let the knife drop from my hand.

"Two weeks. Yes, I'll hang on for two more weeks. I promise, my Love."

I get up from the bed and pick up the knife. I carry it back to the kitchen.

Molly gives me a shocked look as I hand it to her.

"Please make sure I don't get my hands on one of these again," I scowl at her, then return to my room.

Authors notes:

I am not sure if I like the section with Sirius or not. It had to be there, I think, because Remus needs to be encouraged to hang in there and I imagine Sirius would do anything to help. But I totally understand if you don't like it... I don't know, it just doesn't sit right with me. Shrugs. Anyway, thanks for all the positive reviews. Things will get better, and this will have a happy ending, but I don't know when! Thanks again! ;)


	6. Trying To Survive

Remus' POV

After making my promise to my Mate I have made more of an effort to stay healthy.

I still grieve, and hunger for the release death would give me. But now I try to remember to eat at least once a day.

This seems to please Harry, he seems to think that something he said changed my mind.

He is wrong, of course. Only my Mate has ever managed to change my mind.

I walk into the kitchen and all conversation stops. I ignore them and head straight for the kettle to make myself some tea.

Molly is stepping towards me so I growl quietly. She stops and goes back to her chair.

Did I not tell you that? Sorry, my wolf side is becoming more dominant. I'm sure I told you… My memory is slipping, I think.

Anyway, I get upset if anyone but my pack approaches me.

My pack. Ha, that is ridiculous. The only 'pack' I have left is Harry.

So, if anybody but Harry comes near me I growl.

I know that is terribly rude of me, but they aren't my pack, so it doesn't matter.

Yes, sorry, the wolf mindset is quiet over-powering.

Sirius.

He occupies my every thought.

I think over every detail I can remember. To forget him would surely kill me.

I sip at my tea and head back to my territory… my room. I mean my room.

Harry smiles encouragingly as I pass him on the stairs.

I freeze as I see Ron is in my way and growl softly. His eyes widen and he backs away so that I can get to my room.

I retreat inside and return to my photos.

Third Person POV

Ron glanced over his shoulder as he entered the kitchen.

"What is it, Ron?" Harry asked.

"Must he growl at me?" Ron complained. "I was only walking down the stairs…"

Harry scowled at him and Ron held up his hands in surrender,

"Hey, I love the guy, but must he growl?"

Molly tutted under her breath,

"You leave him alone, he is having a very bad time."

Harry gave her a grateful look and she smiled brightly,

"I know you kids will find something to help him soon. It's what you do," she beamed and walked away.

"Where is Hermione?" Ron collapsed down next to Harry.

"Just collecting the last of the ingredients," Harry told him. "We can start mixing it all together tonight."

Ron nodded,

"Then he'll take it two days before the full moon," he calculated.

Harry blinked,

"Full moon is in ten days?"

Ron nodded again,

"Yes, mate, where have you been? Mum is practically counting down…"

Harry grimaced,

"I don't suppose you know anyone who can make wolfsbane?"

"Other than Snape?" Ron joked weakly, "Nah, sorry."

"I'd try…" Harry added, "but with my luck I'd poison him…"

"You have great luck," Ron grinned, "what are you on about?"

"Luck with Defence, not with Potions…"

Remus' POV

I have no wolfsbane.

That thought has just occurred to me. I suppose I will have to be put outside in the fields for the night, maybe chained to the patio. I guess they might just lock me in my room, but that wouldn't be much good.

These thoughts are depressing me again, and I promised my Mate I would not slip away again.

I will talk to Harry in the morning. He will know what to do.

They still maintain that they have a plan. I have made Harry promise that it is not to sever the bond with my Mate. I don't want to do that. It would imply I no longer loved him.

God, I love him.

You would think that love would fade if you don't see the person for years, but it doesn't.

I need him so much.

I gaze, unseeing, at the photos before me. My tea is cold. I drink it anyway.

I push the album aside and curl up under the covers, hoping for nice dreams.

Third Person POV

"That's everything," Hermione put the final ingredients down on the kitchen table.

"Not a moment too soon," Ron nodded.

Harry agreed silently,

"He has found a reason to hang on to life for a little longer," he looked at his two best friends, "let's not let him down."

Hermione smiled,

"The potion itself isn't very complicated, it is the convincing the Greater Powers that our, or Remus', cause is worthy that will take effort."

"No it won't," Harry disagreed, "how could anyone look over his life and not think he was worthy?

"Nobody," Harry answered his own question, "he deserves this, and so does Sirius…"

Ron nodded,

"I agree with Harry."

Harry shot him a relieved and grateful look,

"Thanks, Ron."

Remus' POV

I wake up suddenly.

The veil, must I always see the veil?

Shh, sleep, I'll watch over you…

The words wash over me soothingly and I close my eyes.

My dreams are pleasant for a while.

Author notes:

Thank you for reassuring me about the Sirius section. I think it is growing on me now you have said you liked it. I know this is a short chapter, but it is sort of a filler because I didn't want to go to quickly into the next part. Heh, sorry about that. Anyway, I have to go now. Thanks again!


	7. Justice

Remus' POV

They are brewing something.

I don't know what it is, but it is to do with me.

Harry says it is to help me, though I didn't ask. He says it will be ready two days before the next full moon.

If it works…

No.

I cannot get my hopes up. I refuse to be hurt again. It is ridiculous to contemplate Harry being able to find anything that will help me.

I have only five days left until I can leave this existence behind me. That is the time I promised my Mate. I will not fail him; I must last that long.

Devotion to somebody who has been dead for four years… and left me alone for twelve before that.

That is the way of my kind. I cannot even comprehend feeling this way for another. It is all encompassing.

And it is devastating.

When he left for Azkaban it wasn't so bad. The wolf understood that he was alive, and assumed he would come back soon.

I… well… I forced myself to stay alive. I thought he had betrayed me. And the others. I refused to break down because of him.

This time I know he loved me. I know that and so see no reason why I shouldn't mourn him. Also the wolf mourns his Mate, I cannot control that.

I do not want to.

I think the others are starting to fear me. That is not what I intended. I should probably return to Grimmauld. I will not be in the way there.

Life is so unfair. I did not ask for any of this… Please, I want it all to end. The pain, you have no idea…

Third Person POV

Harry watched silently as Hermione checked on their simmering concoction. She nodded, looking pleased and Harry sighed inwardly.

"This would be easier if you just stayed here…" he pointed out.

"Yes," she nodded slowly, "but I like staying at home. I will come and check on it again tomorrow."

"Bye…" was all Harry managed to say before she disapparated.

Ron glanced at the cauldron as he entered the room,

"I put my ear against the door and heard him growl, so we know he is awake."

Harry rolled his eyes,

"Do you go out of your way to irritate him?"

Ron shook his head,

"The guy likes to growl at me, I am just giving him the opportunity…"

Harry laughed suddenly,

"Fine. I'm going to bed."

Ron nodded,

"Sure. Excluding the remainder of today we only have three days now…"

"Yeah…" Harry nodded as they trudged upstairs.

"Do you know what you are going to say yet?" Ron asked, curiously.

"Not quite… I'm working on it."

Remus' POV

Harry says their potion will be ready by tomorrow.

I am nervous.

It could be the new turning point in my life. The time when everything becomes good again…

NO! I will NOT do this to myself!

I can't face another failure…

However, it is ok, I remind myself, if it does not work I rejoin my Mate the very next day.

If it does not work I will still be free.

Death is my last comfort.

My photos sit in the corner of my room. I cannot face them anymore.

Instead I spend more time in a shallow doze. Not enough to dream, but enough to pass time more quickly.

I am so very tired.

I have had no more messages from my Mate, and I miss him more than ever.

It is ok, though, I look forward to rejoining him in two days.

Third Person POV

"I think I have it…" Harry muttered while pacing up and down the kitchen.

"Let's hear it then," Ron encouraged.

" 'Let those who made great sacrifices be rewarded' No, that doesn't sound right…" Harry moaned, "it sounds like we want the Powers to reward the bad guys too…"

"How's about something like 'get what's coming to them'?" Ron suggested.

"Too vague," Hermione dismissed. She was doing one last check on the potion.

"Right…"

"This is hard…" Harry muttered.

"I told you to think about it earlier, but you always insist in doing things last minute!"

"I did think about it earlier…"

Hermione rolled her eyes but didn't say anything.

"'Let the marauders who made great sacrifices be allowed their justice'," Harry tried.

"Ooh, I like that one!" Hermione nodded.

Harry grinned,

"Great, I'll go with that one."

"What do we do now?" Ron asked.

"I go get Remus," Harry moved to the door. "Then we get him to drink some of that and I have to tell the Greater Powers the words I just told you. Then… then we wait and see."

Harry left to collect Remus.

Remus' POV

I blink at Harry as he enters my room.

"Remus?" he always starts conversations like that resonantly.

"Yes, Harry?"

"We are ready," he tells me, "come down and take the potion."

I nod and follow him down to the kitchen. I notice the other two back away slowly so as to not upset me. I do not acknowledge them.

Harry hands me a large goblet of black liquid. I glance at him, then down the liquid in one gulp.

I gasp as it stings my throat and tears appear in my eyes. I feel my muscles tense involuntarily and I look over to Harry helplessly.

He has his eyes closed and makes no sound, though his lips form words over and over.

I'm scared.

My muscles are spasming and it hurts. I want it to stop.

"Harry?" I drop to my knees and wrap my arms around my chest. I gasp for air, forcing my lungs to obey.

I let out a soft cry, then fall unconscious.

I hear voices.

Harry, Ron and Hermione. I can nearly make out their words…

"…this would happen…"

"None of us did…"

"So this is what they think he deserves?"

"He gets a new life."

"But is he over Sirius?"

"Harry?" I murmur.

"Remus, do you feel ok?"

I nod slowly and open my eyes.

The first thing I notice is that my senses are sharp again.

"What has happened to me?" I sit up slowly and rub my head.

"Err…"

Hermione hands me a mirror.

I stare at her for a second, then look into the mirror.

My eyes widen,

"No…"

"Remus, it's ok…"

"No no nonononono," I shake my head, my eyes glued to the image before me.

"Remus…"

"You don't understand," I sob suddenly, "this body, it has only just lost it's Mate. I will go through that all over again. This is not what I wanted…"

"Remus…"

I shove the mirror at Hermione and flee to my room.

I collapse on my bed and sob uncontrollably.

My body is 21 again.

The Powers have given me a new life, but one equally filled with pain.

Author Notes:

I am still amazed by how many people actually like this story... Well, I hope I don't disapoint you. Thank you for the reviews, they make my day!

PS This story isn't finished, don't worry!


	8. Consequences

Remus' POV

I really cannot face my photos now.

No longer are they of a younger version of myself being happy. It is me being happy.

I am once again in the body of my 21-year-old self.

No. I cannot take this. It is too much.

This body contains the wolf too, only this wolf does not have the memories of the 40-year-old one. He is wondering where his Mate is. He doesn't understand that we are alone…

I feel his confusion, and his tentative understanding. He waits for the full moon though, and for proof.

At the full moon he will howl until we are hoarse. He will call for Padfoot. He will call for his Mate.

Padfoot won't come, like Sirius won't come.

What was it that I did wrong so as to deserve this fate?

Dumbledore stands by his belief that things always happen for a reason, so what is the reason? I don't understand…

I tried so hard, over the years… At school I worked hard and was generally well behaved. After school I never retaliated against those who hurt me, I turned the other cheek, so to speak.

I was good, I am sure I was good…

I am crying now and I cannot stop.

Sirius. I would give up everything I own to be with him… But I don't own anything… only that photo album.

I'm going to go to sleep. In twelve hours I can die. That is when the two weeks end.

Third Person POV

"I don't understand what happened…" Harry murmured.

"Maybe they felt he didn't deserve… err… whatever it was we wanted for him…" Ron suggested.

"No… I think they accepted my request. I think they think this is what he wants."

"I'm sure he did want his life back," Hermione nodded, "but he wanted it to be with Sirius.

"He needed it to be with Sirius…"

Ron sighed,

"So what do we do?"

Harry shook his head,

"I don't know. I still don't understand why they didn't help…"

"They are the Greater Powers," Hermione sighed. "I suppose they can see the bigger picture and decided it would be better for Remus to die…"

"That is rubbish… Remus deserves to live a happy life with Sirius. It is that simple!" Harry snapped.

"Maybe he would be happier with Sirius is… heaven, or wherever dead people go…" Ron spoke quietly.

"Maybe…" Harry buried his face in his hands. "Maybe…"

Remus' POV

I cannot sleep.

This younger version of my body isn't tired out easily like my old one. It has more energy.

I walk downstairs and grab a mug of tea and an apple.

I walk outside and sit on the patio. I look around, but there is nobody insight. I don't know where they are, though I suppose they are at work or university.

I eat my apple as I let my thoughts wander.

I can feel the pull of the moon. If I weren't going to die tomorrow I would be transforming in two days.

I finish my snack and realise I have nothing to do.

I feel bored; and strangely like something is tugging at me. Something I cannot place and has no direction. It is merely the feeling that I have overlooked something very important.

I scowl, trying to place the feeling, but cannot. All I know is that it means me no harm, so cannot be the moon.

I shrug and walk inside. Maybe I will find a book to occupy me.

Later

There is a loud crack as Harry apperates into the living room. He jumps when he spots me, curled up with a book on the sofa.

"Remus, hi," he greets me.

"Hello," I reply, resting the book on my lap.

"I have been meaning to tell you how sorry…"

"No, Harry," I tell him, "it is quite all right. You tried to help me, and that means a lot. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"You seem better…" he suggests, a mild hope in his eyes.

I nod,

"This is my body as it was when I was 21, and the wolf is from that time too. The reality for loosing my Mate hasn't hit it yet. Make no mistake, though, I feel terrible."

He nods slowly,

"How long will you stay?" he asks quietly. I should have known he would know my plans.

"I promised Sirius until tomorrow," I tell him.

His eyes widen, but he doesn't argue,

"I'll miss you, Remus."

I smile softly,

"We will meet again, in the next life."

He nods and tears appear in his eyes,

"I understand. Are you going to tell the others?"

I shake my head,

"They will only take me to St Mungo's… I need to do this my own way, Harry, please?"

He nods,

"Ok…

"I love you…" he blurts suddenly.

I smile and hold out my arm to him and envelop him in a hug,

"I love you too."

Later

Finally. It is the morning of my last day on this Earth.

I sigh with relief and hurry downstairs. I grab a knife from the kitchen and head back to my room.

I pass Harry on the stairs. He bites his lip when he sees the knife in my hand.

I pause,

"I'm sorry Harry," I tell him.

"What for?"

"For not being the parent you needed…" it feels so strange to be talking to him in my young body. My body that appears only one year older than his.

"It's ok," he forgives me, "you tried. And you were going through a terrible time."

He pauses,

"I am happy that you will find peace…"

I grasp his arm,

"Thank you, Harry."

I enter my room and close the door.

"This is it, Love," I murmur to Sirius, "I will join you soon."

I reach for the photo album, hesitate, then open it once again to the front page.

I look at the people in the photo. All dead, I realise, in only a few minutes we will all be dead. I am the only one left and I will join them shortly.

I hear a loud crack from downstairs. I assume Harry has headed off for the day. For him to hang around would be suspicious.

I lift the knife to my wrist and press down gently.

"For you, Sirius…" I murmur as I increase the pressure.

Third Person POV

Harry folded his arms before him on the table and dropped his head onto them. Upstairs the last of the marauders was committing suicide.

"Where did everything go so wrong?" he asked the silent room.

He sighed and got himself a glass of water.

"Should I let myself be the one to find him?" he asked, once again out loud.

"Find who?" Ron walked in.

"A teacher," Harry replied automatically. "I need to see him, but don't know if I should or not."

Ron shrugged,

"Dunno, are you in trouble?"

"I don't know," Harry told him. "I don't suppose the meeting will be pleasant."

Suddenly a loud crack filled the room and a dark-haired man appeared before them. He dropped to his knees with a gasp, as if fighting for breath after nearly having drowned.

Harry and Ron grabbed their wands and pointed them at the stranger. He appeared young, say early twenties, and had shoulder length black hair which had fallen in front of his eyes. He was wearing black muggle jeans and a dark grey T-shirt.

"Who are you?" Harry demanded.

The man pushed his hair out of his eyes and turned to Harry.

"Harry!" he exclaimed. "Quick, where is Moony?"

Harry gapped at him,

"Sirius?"

"Who the hell else where you expecting! Where is Moony? Quick, before he does something stupid!"

"Sirius?" Ron echoed Harry.

Sirius rolled his eyes,

"YES! It's me! Where is Moony?"

Author notes:

Heh heh. Maybe I am being cruel, stopping here, but it keeps you on your toes! Anyway, thank you to everyone who has reviewed this, your comments really do make me feel good. I am sorry if the last chapter was confusing. I have tried to explain it more in this one without altering the flow of the story. Once again I reassure you, this is not the end! I just like to leave you hanging. Thanks again for your support.

PS please do not spend too much money on tissues over my story... it isn't meant to be that sad!

PPS please to not kill yourself over this story. If you do I will stop writing it!

PPPS the beg for a 21-year-old Sirius has been forfilled, but this is what I planned, so be happy we are on the same wavelength!

PPPPS it is friday, so I may update again tonight, but I make no promises...


	9. Marauders

Remus' POV

I wince as the knife cuts into my wrist. The blood rushes to the wound and runs down my arm.

I sigh with relief. Finally, I am free…

I feel the wolf inside me howl. He doesn't understand my sorrow. He doesn't believe our Mate is dead.

I slice deeper.

There are heavy footsteps of someone running up the stairs. I jump to my feet as something crashes against my door. They try the handle, but I have locked it. There is a brief pause, then another crash. Someone is throwing themselves at my door.

"What do you want?" I shout.

"Remus! You're still conscious!" I recognise the voice… but it can't be.

"Moony? Open the door, Love. Please let me in…"

"You're dead, leave me alone…" I back away from the door and stab the knife into my wrist. I scream with pain and drop to my knees. My head is spinning.

"Moony!" another crash, then the door gives way.

I try to pull away from the impostor posing as my Mate, but the blood loss is too great now.

"Oh, God," the man murmurs as he falls to his knees beside me. He catches my injured wrist with his left hand and quickly applies pressure.

"Keep away…" I try weakly to pull away from him.

"Shh, Love. It's me; I'm back… I'll explain later, but now we have to get this healed."

He lifts my chin with his free hand so that I look him in the eyes,

"You have been very brave, my Mate," he tells me. "But I am here now, there is nothing to fear…"

I recognise him… and the Link, I feel it now.

"Sirius…" tears appear in my eyes, "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't you act like you're not going to get through this," he snaps, "because you are. Where is your wand? I can heal this in an instant, but I don't have my wand."

I point to the bedside table. I assume it is still in there, though I haven't seen it for days.

He doesn't want to let go, I see it in his eyes, but he does. He dashes for the wand, and looks relieved when he finds it in the first draw he tries. He bounds back over and mutters a healing charm. My wound scabs over instantly.

He sighs with relief and pulls me into a tight hug.

"Moony… I missed you," he buries his face in my neck so his words are muffled.

I put my arms round his neck and rest my head on his shoulder. I start to cry. He rocks me gently, like he used to after the full moon,

"Shh… I'm here, you're safe… shh…"

Someone is at the door. _Harry, _I can sense it.

"Sirius?" he calls in, "is everything ok?"

Sirius turns to face Harry, his face beaming with joy,

"Yes, Harry, everything is great!"

Later

"You ok?"

"Padfoot, that is the twenty-ninth time you have asked me that is the last ten minutes…" I point out.

Harry has left us alone in my room. Despite the fact Sirius made a right racket earlier braking down my door, which he has now repaired, nobody has looked in on me. I guess years of living with the twins means everyone is used to loud noises.

Harry might have told them by now. I heard Molly head downstairs, and Arthur a minute or so later. Ron has already seen that my Mate has returned. I guess Ginny is with them too, though I didn't hear her go past.

"What did you do to convince them it was really you?" I ask.

"I transformed into Padfoot," he shrugged. "Also I think they were at least partly expecting me anyway… they were expecting you to get a reward."

"Mmm… all mine," I tell him happily.

"Oh yes," I can hear his grin. "But, you're sure you're ok?"

"Yes, Padfoot, I'm fine."

"You look pale."

"I just slit my wrist, of course I'm pale. Also, it is the full moon tomorrow tonight."

"You haven't any wolfsbane," he murmurs.

"With you here I don't need it," I point out. "Have you looked out the window?"

He looks out the window and laughs,

"Excellent! Gees, look at all that space!"

"I knew you'd love it…"

"We so have to buy a place nearby!" he exclaims, reminding me of his enthusiastic animagus form. I smile happily.

"I wonder if my bank account is still valid…" he ponders.

"It is," I tell him, "because it was given to me when you… when you… left me."

"When I died," Sirius scowls. "I died, Remus, I never left you."

I nuzzle his shoulder and wrap my arms tightly around his chest,

"Thank you," I tell him.

"For what?" he hugs me back.

"For returning to me."

Third Person POV

"Let me get this straight," Fred held up a hand. "Sirius is back from the dead because he is Remus' Mate?"

Harry nodded slowly,

"Yes, that sounds about right."

"Cool!" the twins announced together.

Ron laughed,

"I worry about you two!"

"We worry about you too," George grinned.

Ron stuck out his tongue.

"Will they be coming down soon, Harry dear?" Molly ignored her bickering sons.

"I don't know," Harry admitted, "Remus is probably quite shocked by all this, but I guess they'll be down soon."

Hermione apperated into the room,

"What was that note all about, Harry? I can't read your writing when you write fast like that."

Footsteps were heard on the stairs and Remus stepped into the room, followed by Sirius. Remus was smiling, and looking infinitely better than before. Sirius was grinning and looking around with interest.

"Sirius?" Hermione exclaimed.

Sirius grinned,

"Why do people keep saying that today? Who else where you expecting?"

"I think you'll find we weren't expecting anyone at all," Remus pointed out.

"Why did the spell take so long to work?" Hermione asked.

"The Powers had to judge me worthy," Sirius told her.

"But the spell was for Remus," Ron gestured to two spear seats.

"No," Sirius shook his head as he and Remus sat down, "the spell, due to Harry's choice of words, was for the marauders."

Later, Remus' POV

"You say the spell was for the marauders?" I murmur as we slip under the covers.

"Yes," Sirius pulls me over to keep me warm, as it is so close to the full moon.

"If it included you in that list even though you were… dead… Does that mean they also include…?"

Author notes:

Wow... you guys really like this story... I _really_ hope I don't disappoint you right at the end. :) Thank you for all the lovely reviews. I know, it was very cruel for me to leave it there. I did mean to update again after about an hour, but something came up. (My friend Cairn87 needed help with his notes where he couldn't read his own writing.) Anyway, I have updated now, and I hope you like it.

PS this is not quite the end, but we are nearly there now


	10. Together

Remus' POV

"Love you…" I murmur before I even open my eyes.

Sirius laughs,

"I love you, too, Moony. But you didn't say a name!"

"I love you, Severus," I tell him.

My Mate lets out a bark of a laugh,

"Thanks, Moony. That's a mental image I could do without."

"Me too," I admit.

"Come on, let's get some breakfast," he jumps out of bed, pulling me with him.

I groan softly,

"Too early…"

"I know it is full moon tonight, Moony, but it's gone ten… I need to eat," he tugs on my hand.

I nod and follow him downstairs.

"Sirius, Remus," Harry smiles, "good morning! Sleep well?"

"Yes!" Sirius beams at his godson. "Now I am hungry. Where does Molly keep the bread?"

He starts hunting around in random cupboards without waiting for an answer.

"Full moon tonight," Harry turns to me.

I nod,

"Yes."

"What are you going to do?"

"We'll go outside," I tell him. "We can run through the fields, there is plenty of space."

"We?"

"You think I came back just to kiss him?" Sirius looks up from the cutlery draw.

"Oh, you!" Harry laughs, "I almost forgot about Padfoot, sorry."

Sirius sighs forlornly,

"Hear that, Moony? He has forgotten me…"

"Are you really looking for bread in the cutlery drawer?" I ask him.

He shrugs,

"That's where I kept it…"

"That's because we had no cutlery…" I remind him. "Try the bread bin to your left."

"Oh, yeah," he laughs, "I see it."

"You had no cutlery? No… wait, I do I want to know?"

"Sirius' family, the few who like him, give him a bunch of stuff for our flat. One of those things was cutlery…"

"Stupid twat. He knew I was living with a werewolf," Sirius voices from across the room.

"It was all solid silver," I tell Harry. "We had to sell it all."

"Then _somebody _spent all the gained money on a new broomstick…" Sirius moaned. "Stupid prat."

Harry looks at me in surprise.

"Not me," I laugh then wince slightly in pain. "James."

Harry laughs,

"And you complain when I am not responsible?"

"Yeah, well, I throttled him…" Sirius grins, while using a fork to try and toast the bread over the magical equivalent of a gas hob.

"What makes me think Sirius didn't often do the cooking?" Harry murmurs, looking rather worried.

I laugh, and Sirius looks offended.

We all look up as Hermione apperates into the room. She looks shocked.

"Why did I miss it? Sheesh… I'm going mad!" she exclaims as she looks over at my Mate.

"What?" Sirius asks, warily.

"The marauders! Not Remus, the marauders!" she exclaims.

"Yes," he relaxes. He dumps two pieces of toast, miraculously unburned, on my plate and gives me a pot of jam and a knife.

"Um, Hermione? What are you talking about?"

"We haven't told him," I tell her. "We didn't want to get his hopes up."

"Told me what?" Harry looks irritated.

She nods in understanding.

"Told me what!? I think I have done enough to earn your respect by now!" he snaps.

"He has his mother's temper," my Mate observes.

I laugh softly as Harry looks rather put out.

"Sorry, Harry," I smile. "The spell wasn't…"

A loud crack fills the room and a young man with messes black hair and glasses drops to his knees before us. He gasps for breath and presses his palms against the floor to maintain his balance.

Sirius lets out a loud whoop and throws himself at the man. The man grunts.

"Get off, Padfoot…" he mutters, "I'm trying to breathe here."

"That, Prongs, does not bother me!" my Mate exclaims and promptly drags James into a tight bear hug. James reacts in the only possible way and hugs him back.

Harry's eyes have gone very wide, as have Hermione's. I smile happily at my two friends.

Suddenly James jerks back from Sirius and turns to Harry. His face lights up with delight and he jumps to his feet. He offers his hand to his son.

"Hey, Harry, I'm James."

Sirius lets out another bark of a laugh, grabs his arm and drags the three of them into a group hug.

Harry is grinning as they pull apart.

Sirius backs away, unnoticed and gestures that we should leave them alone. I nod and grab my toast as we leave the room.

Later

"What about mum?" Harry asks as the four of us relax in my room.

"Anytime now," James replies. "The Powers believe it to create too much of a magical disturbance if they bring back too many people at one time."

Harry nods in understanding.

"Full moon tonight?" Prongs turns to me.

"How did you guess?" I murmur as I cuddle up to my Mate.

"I'm a seer," he grins.

"It's the hair," Sirius tells me, "it can detect signals from outer space."

"Oi!" James and Harry complain, simultaneously.

I snigger and close my eyes. My Mate runs his hand through my hair soothingly.

"So, we are running tonight?" James asks, after huffing for a few seconds.

"No, we are going to put Moony outside then play a game of scrabble. Of course we are running!"

"Well, I was just thinking Moony and Padfoot… they haven't seen each other for a while!" James leers at us suggestively.

"Yeah, well, you always did like a good exhibition, Prongs," I tell him.

I can't see him, but I know he turns bright red. Harry is trying to smother snorts of laughter, and my Mate is kissing my hair.

There is a large crack from downstairs. James jumps up and runs from the room, Harry follows him. Sirius looks up, but doesn't move from my side.

Later

"Merlin!" Molly exclaims as she enters her kitchen.

"Hullo, Molly!" James beams.

Sirius snorts with laughter and Lily hits her husband on the arm.

"Molly," Lily stands up, "I know this must come as a bit of a shock…"

James erupts into laughter. Lily hits him again.

"But… I thought the spell was for…" Molly stutters and looks over to me.

"The spell was for the marauders," Harry tells her.

Molly looks at Lily.

"She's my reward," James tells her.

"Peter?" Molly asks softly.

A look of pure disgust crosses the face of my Mate, and a similar hits James.

"I think you will find he is in Azkaban," I tell her quietly.

"That isn't a reward…" she scowls.

"No," I agree. "But the spell wasn't for a reward. It was for justice."

"Oh…" she blinks, then seems to recover. "Would you like some dinner?"

"Would I ever!" Prongs exclaims then moves to the other side of Harry before he is hit again.

"Yes, please, Molly," I smile. I am trying to make up for the number of times I growled at everyone.

Later

We are sitting outside, awaiting the full moon.

The marauders, Evans and Harry. My pack.

Moony is ecstatic.

"Tens minutes," Lily tells us as she looks at her watch.

I nod,

"I know. I can feel it."

"You should leave now," Sirius tells her, "you too, Harry."

They nod.

"Have fun," Lily kisses Prongs lightly. She puts her arm around her son, waves, then they walk inside.

My Mate unhelpfully starts to whistle 'Werewolves of London'. I'd glare at him; but it is rather comforting. After a minute James joins in and I laugh happily.

"Will you two stop that?"

"Nope. Love you, Moony," my Mate tells me, then continues from where he left off.

I grit my teeth as the pain hits, then I scream.

The pain passes.

I feel something licking at my snout. I open my eyes and see my Mate.

__

Padfoot?

Hey, Moony!

Where shall we run to? I ask as I stand up.

__

Wherever, Prongs steps up behind my Mate, _let's explore._

There are humans nearby, I tell them.

__

Not your concern, Padfoot tells me sternly, _let's run!_

I wag my tail happily as we run off across the fields.

THE END

Author notes:

Sorry it took so long for me to update, it was Cairn87's fault, again! (You can't blame it on your boyfriend, mon ami).

Anyway, thanks for the feedback, everyone. It does make me happy that you do take the time to do that. I know one of you suggested that James shouldn't come back, but I wanted him back. Sorry.

So, that is the end of my story! I hope you liked it.

If anyone has any suggestions for what I can do next you can please tell me. You can use the little button on the left, or email me by using the link on my profile page. Let me know if you want a sequel or a prequel or if you want me to wander away into the night never to return.

Thanks again. :)

PS You were right. I reread it and my spelling was terrible! I swear I did check it though…. Sorry. It is corrected now, but I cannot promise I caught it all.


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